HOLLY STEVENS

Unexpected things happen, have Gratitude!

Posted on 08/18/2022 by HOLLY STEVENS

My life plans changed, a fork in the road I was avoiding. I saw and acknowledged it; the warning signs were there! Plan “B” was in place. However, there wasn’t a plan “B” exit.

I continually strive to live above the line with integrity, honesty, and transparency. I believed that could and would be enough. Then the ‘unexpected’ opposing stronghold began challenging my well-being; I have chosen to STOP, CHALLENGE, and CHOOSE.

I genuinely am grateful for the obstacles blocking plan “B.” I believe had plan “B” had a distinguished well, marked exit, I would have continued to blow right past it. I am ready to take my power for MY LIFE, living MY PURPOSE, ON PURPOSE, with the passion I have been created to have.

Sometimes we get squandered and don’t even realize it, and we go through the survival motions and just exist. I will admit that I am embarrassed with the “wake-up” call it took for me. The awareness, the growth, and the changes it is forcing me to make are definitely changing the trajectory of my life. Showing me the value of myself and those who genuinely care for and about me.

When we choose to not reach out to our real tribe. When we decide to try and handle things on our own because we are embarrassed, feel weak, or unworthy, we come to a place in our journey going backward.

There is no such thing as just maintaining. We are beings of energy, and energy is in constant motion. Forward or backward, positive or negative. When the universe wants or needs us to MOVE, we will be given what it takes to make it happen. Be it a nudge or a slap of reality that can lead to embarrassment if need be. It will happen!

On July 7th, 2022, that is precisely what happened to me. A big ole’ slap of uncomfortable reality. That I am and will be forever grateful for. It is not something I wish upon anyone, and it is not easy to deal with or face. However, it was something done TO ME. It was a negative choice of another human being. How I choose to respond is how I choose to let it affect me.

I am worthy of my rights and my boundaries. I am worthy of justice for my rights and my limits. Moreover, I am worthy of the lesson and the growth from the situation. I am worthy of self-love and receiving genuine love from others. Love is not earned; love is given.

As I go through this transformation in my life, I am grateful for the tools I have available to me. As the ugliness of the situation comes about, so does my ability to STOP my thoughts, CHALLENGE those thoughts, and CHOOSE how I want to respond to MY THOUGHTS that I have 100% control of. I stay conscious of my ability and power to STOP, CHALLENGE, and CHOOSE MY response to ALL THINGS.

What have I learned thus far? I have a voice. I have a right to be heard when it comes to my well-being. I do NOT have to “abide and provide” I am created to Enhance and Empower those put on my path in my life. Life is a journey, not a destination. People and things change; we must choose to GROW with life.

I am grateful for everyone in my life, whatever season I may spend with them. Some will stay, some will go; I CHOOSE to GROW. I CHOOSE to MOVE FORWARD for the greater good. This detour in my journey is a tough one. I have immense gratitude for my faith, my program, my tribe, and my strength to use as a springboard to share my story to allow others to know they do not have to go it alone!

Center of Balance, Uncategorized

Center of Balance

Posted on 06/26/202206/27/2022 by HOLLY STEVENS

First, stand in front of a mirror, feet together, and hold your arms level with your shoulders. What do you see as a replica? What exactly is halfway between your hands? Now bring each hand, placing it in the middle, over your heart, and close your eyes; what do you feel? Now take a DEEP BREATH, let it out, and do it again; what do you feel?

We take for granted that we are not in control of our heart beating and lungs breathing, and we have control over creating balance, and balance is all about CENTERING.

Creating a centered life balance begins with YOU living from YOUR CENTER.

This can look different for each of us. So many times, we want to excuse our challenges because of our upbringing, family influences, or just not knowing anything other. However, we are each UNIQUE individuals with our OWN hearts, mind, and soul, and this is how we have been intentionally created. We are designed to be who WE ARE as individuals with our OWN morals, values, and purpose.

We live with internal chaos when we reason with or excuse our challenges. In the diagram above, we can see the 5 areas of life we are responsible for in our individuality. Physical. Emotional. Spiritual. Nutritional. Environmental.

Our primary focus is on how we look physically. What our mindset is, what we eat, where we live and work, and then when we have time, we will consider the effects these have on us as the person we are. As you can see, this type of focus will eventually cancel out the “who we individually are” or, as some say, the “I AM.” Our identity becomes our family, community, work, and social circles; we blend into general society and get lost in the world.

We know we don’t feel “good”; however, we doubt that we feel “bad.” We just exist. We either dismiss the challenges and co-exist, or we believe it is okay because that is what we know as “okay.” We either have to lose something or someone of significance, or we hit our “rock bottom” knowing there’s something better and seek it out.

I have learned that those who choose to seek and understand living in balance seek it from their core center. Wanting to grow and be all they are created to be, living on purpose with purpose. Others are just okay living in their self-perceived comfort zone, and that’s okay too. There isn’t a parallel for these two types of individuals to even sit on the same teeter-totter in the same playground of life.

Those who desire to live a centered and balanced life have to choose to “seek” themselves first. Recognize there is a power greater than themselves breathing them. Choosing to look inside, feel from the inside and identify their core morals and values, live with integrity, identify their purpose, and live on purpose with genuine passion from their heart. We must seek ourselves first by glancing at our family of origin, our upbringing, the patterns, the cycles, and the “traditions.” Decern what fits us and what does not.

When we choose to decern WHO WE ARE from the CORE of our INDIVIDUAL being, we can UNshackle our health, UNshackle our love, UNshackle our happiness, and choose to live A Splendid Life NOW! being empowered and living from integrity.

We can start where we are, with what we have at this very moment. We can physically re-set our bodies to function the way it is created to work, correcting and healing from the inside out. We can recognize our mindset, increase our Emotional Intelligence love ourselves and others for exactly who we are. We can feed our body the food it needs to be healthy and “feed” our brain. (side note: did you know we consume enough preservatives to embalm ourselves SEVEN times during our lifetime? — YUCK– think about this a minute… how do you think this affects our brain?) We can influence our surrounding and environmental energies — remember science class back in the day, EVERYTHING is ENERGY. EVERYTHING has a positive and negative charge to be created or living — This is integral to our living and working environments. This is integral to our thinking and thought process.

Our Spiritual well-being can be identified in many different ways. We can not create our own heartbeat, nor can we give ourselves constant CPR to breathe. We must have a WHY! We must make a choice! We must be centered to live an unshackled and balanced life. Life is a process; we must choose to do our part and trust it.

Creating a centered life balance begins with YOU living from YOUR CORE CENTER.

Confidence

Confidence #5

Posted on 06/29/202008/10/2021 by HOLLY STEVENS

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.
ee cummings

Have you been able to connect with and hear your inner voice? Have you taken time to get quiet and discover your choices or decisions that are in harmony with your highest good?

It is absolutely amazing that we have been blessed with such an amazing guidance system – in truth, it is SO much better than any other personal GPS!

It is so easy to get caught up in our daily routines and habits that we ignore the messages that our Intuition is providing us. Again, if we choose to get quiet, listening to these messages, this allows decisions to come to us faster, feeling movement forward as never before. Knowing that we can choose to get quiet, and listen to ourselves in the most external chaotic of situations. We can choose to take a breath and to quiet our internal chaos, while we listen for/to our inner voice. Sometimes we may have to physically get away to be in the quiet to get quiet, other times we may just need to take a deep breath and consciously quiet our mind while we listen.

Having freedom from the opinions of others is especially important: one of the greatest GIFTS we have been GIVEN when we were born into this life is the capacity to CONSCIOUSLY reflect within our OWN Self. Each and everyone of us can think our own thoughts, considering those thoughts BEFORE actually acting on them. We CAN UNLOCK the FREEDOM to follow OUR DESIRES and to receive the warnings when something may not be in harmony with OUR BEING.

We DO NOT need to look for, or have the approval from others. Authentic Self-Confidence can ONLY come from WITHIN US. The opinion of others is not truth – the TRUTH is WITHIN US. Developing Rock- solid Self-Confidence will support us through any challenges we face in our journey of life.

As we get in touch with our CORE being, the source of our Confidence. Discovering, and allowing our inner voice to speak, while we truly listen, THIS is what makes us feel ALIVE.

Learning the secret of where to find our Authentic Self-Confidence when we need it most, making a strong, deep, loving connection with our inner voice so we can call upon it at anytime we need to be liberated from the opinions of others is where we are now. When we are “FREE to be ME”, to be our OWN SELF, we can be confident, comfortable and feel at ease, no matter the situation.

Discovering the formula that the world’s most successful people have chosen in developing their confidence in the most heart-felt ways for decades is life changing. I will share these steps shortly, and we can walk through, one by one, applying them to each part of our lives. Putting them in to practice on a regular basis, our passion for life will amplify, and sharing this confidence from within ourselves with others around us.

One of the greatest blessings we are each given in this life is the capacity and ability to consciously reflect within our own Self. We are gifted the ability to first, think our own thoughts, then considering those thoughts BEFORE we act on them. KNOWING this allows us the FREEDOM to follow our OWN DESIRES, with the understanding we can also be aware or alerted when something is not in harmony with OUR BEING. Being aware of both internal and external influences, and how they are affecting our Authentic Self-Confidence.

Since we can remember, we have been taught to look outside ourselves and to others for approval. Seeking a smile or nod from our parents. Seeking good grades from our teachers. Seeking the glances from our romantic partner. Listening for words of approval from our spouse or partner. Seeking the promotion from our bosses. These are all things (and many more) or moments that would seem to build our confidence in some way or another… they are only external, not Authentic Self-Confidence.

Authentic Self-Confidence comes from ONLY ONE PLACE: from WITHIN. Allowing the approval of others to build us up, allows their criticism to tear us down just as easily. The fact of the matter is: the opinion of others is not truth. TRUTH is INSIDE each and every one of us. Confidence is from the inside out, THIS is what we are developing the AWARENESS of: CONFIDENCE IS FROM THE INSIDE!

When the realization and acceptance of the fact: Confidence is an inside job, becoming deeply ingrained in our being, NOTHING anyone can say or do will have the ability to negatively impact us, or tear us down for any length of time. We are UNSHACKLING from WITHIN us, something we have ALWAYS had, an UNSHAKABLE AUTHENTIC TRUE SELF-CONFIDENCE. This unshakable Self-Confidence will see us through ANY of the challenges we are facing, or that come our way from here forward.

We may have had a very specific, damaging, life-changing moment, situation or circumstance in which someone said something, or something happened that cut us to the core, as a child or as an adult. KNOW THIS: that was something that happened. What was said was not truth or what happened has a positive seed planted within it! Each of us is deserving of HAPPINESS. By BIRTHRIGHT, we are entitled to a Authentic Self-Confidence, freeing us from the opinions of others!

Spend some time, one-on-one with your Self, really get in touch with your core being, the very source of YOUR Confidence. When practiced with dedication, and true attention, these five steps, followed and practiced diligently will unshackle and expand your Self-Confidence to a new awareness.

Napoleon Hill, who studied many successful people, famously known for his research and findings, formulated these steps in which are proven to building Self-Confidence.

Napoleon Hill's Formula for Building Self-Confidence:
   Step ONE:    Believe that there is a power in you great enough that you can achieve what matters to you.
   Step TWO:    Concentrate your thoughts on creating a clear mental picture of you being the person who is living the life you desire.
   Step THREE:  Trust that the desire you hold in mind, if kept in mind, must, by invisible law reproduce itself in the world of form.
   Step FOUR:   Promise yourself to keep at it until you have developed a sufficient Self-Confidence to reach your goal.
   Step FIVE:   Commit to not only being the person who's living this life, but doing that with truth and justice in all that you do, so that all that's required to bring about this goal becomes yours.

When we are faced with overcoming failure, facing fear or there is a decision weighing heavy on us. When we feel stuck in the pursuit of our purpose, passion or life dream, you can go back to these five steps (print them off, keep them with you) for a reminder of how to access YOUR Authentic Self-Confidence. Be open to YOUR INNER VOICE, allowing it to do the talking while you do the listening, seeing the opinions of others diminish as you engage in YOUR TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF-CONFIDENCE.

Here is a recap of what I have personally learned and utilize myself and would like to share with you:

The ‘self’ with a little (lowercase) “s” is our personality and all the things we have achieved or not achieved. Some identify this as our ego.
The ‘Self’ with a big (uppercase capital) “S” is the power and intelligence that is present in us at ALL times.
Trusting my Self is the ultimate in Confidence.
Confidence is not built from the outside in. It is built from THE INSIDE OUT!
Self speaks to us in the degree of OUR WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN, always in the here and now.
Utilizing Napoleon Hill’s proven Five step formula for Building Self-Confidence. Believing, Concentrating, Trusting, Promising Self and being Committed to the Self that is created in/of/for ME.
There is an art and a science to reaching our passion, purpose and dream. The art is the visioning. The science is the vibration.

The suggested actions that I do take action on each and every day are:

Following and practicing Napoleon Hill’s Formula for Building Self-Confidence
Remembering daily to place my Confidence and trust in the Power breathing me. NOT in my personality, history or talents.
Writing out a clear and detailed description of the image I desire, writing it in the present tense as if it IS real RIGHT NOW!

This is #5 of #5 in this series of Authentic Self-Confidence. Please join me for a review of all that I have shared with you about Unshackling an Unshakable True Authentic Self-Confidence, at https://www.facebook.com/unshackledhappiness/. Empowering you to turn the key and break free of your shackles with belief in your Self and your abilities to live your life with passion on purpose, starting TODAY! That is my TRUE, GIVEN passion with my purpose to empower others to be the best that they can be in any given moment, situation or under any circumstances they are facing.

GO! DO! BE! with TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF-CONFIDENCE, all that YOU have been CREATE to DO and BE with PURPOSE and PASSION from WITHIN YOU!!

Cheering you on every step of the way,

Holly

Confidence

Confidence #4

Posted on 06/27/202008/10/2021 by HOLLY STEVENS

Once you make a decision, the Universe conspires to make it happen
Ralph Waldo Emerson

Discovering that you are MORE than any failure you have ever had, feeling renewed with knowing that you have a power to overcome any obstacle that comes or is put in your way. Having that amazing feeling knowing you are GREATER than ANYTHING you could ever possibly encounter. Think about it, you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t given, or didn’t have access to the ability to be an “over-comer.”

We have the ability to connect with an inner source to allow us to be a clear, confident decision maker. We have the access to our own GPS, the guidance system that we can turn to and listen to at any given time to help us with the choices guiding us to our purpose with passion.

When we explore our Intuition, letting our inner voice be our guide, automatically we will feel, when a choice we make, is in harmony with our highest good. Learning to pay attention to OUR inner voice, will give us the confidence to make ANY decision that comes about in our life.

We are all given a purpose in this life. This is a purpose that serves our highest good. We are given the true Authentic Self-Confidence to pursue discovering that purpose. When we discover this purpose, we develop a passion and love that fills us from within, no one or anything can give us this from the outside. Unlocking confidence in our decision making is yet another stepping stone in our path to our purpose, passion, and dreams.

Being really clear on what we would love our life to be, making confident decisions from that very place. We must realize, there are many different types of decisions we make in any given day, how those decisions can and will impact our self-confidence giving us a new level of understanding and trust in how making those choices can and will benefit our purpose, passion, and dreams.

We develop an understanding and trust, thus, guiding us to know when we are and we are not operating for our highest good. Discovering two secret keys to getting in touch with our inner voice helping us know with Authentic Self-Confidence, we are making the best possible decision, no matter the situation or circumstance we are facing in that moment.

So, what do we do when we would like a bowl of ice cream? We get up, go to the freezer, grab the container of vanilla, the ice cream scoop, (sometimes) a bowl and a spoon. We are ready to enjoy! We made a decision and took the steps needed to accomplish the goal. That was a simple one, unless of course there was another option of chocolate ice cream in the freezer too, then the decision may have been a bit more challenging. We make decisions every day of our life, some are easy, others more difficult.

We have all found ourselves in situations that we had no clue what to do, what direction to take, or what move to make because we just couldn’t make a decision as to what the best thing to do is/was. We all feel that way at times, when we have options and opportunities before us, and we just don’t know what the right choice would be. We get stuck in the “thinking” about decisions, which keeps us stuck, and not moving forward to our purpose, passion and life we love living. This is NOT the place we would like to stay for any length of time. Instead, we want to connect with the source within us that will help us become a clear, confident decision maker.

As part of the human experience, we all make decisions. Most of the decisions we make are done without thinking about them, they come out of habit, or by default. Some decisions require much more consideration and planning, we debate with ourselves back and forth on what the “right” thing to do is, even turning to others for advice. While in the midst of all of this, there is ONE (GPS) guidance system that we can each turn to at any point and time. When we really listen, it helps us make the choices and decisions that will propel us in the direction of being the person who CAN, DO, and BE whatever we choose.

The key is strengthening our personal relationship with the part of us that already knows ALL THE ANSWERS, our Intuition. When we allow our Inner Voice to guide us, we can sense when a choice or decision is in harmony with our highest good. We become more and more clear on and aware of what the cues are, when we pay attention to them, it will keep us on the path to freedom and happiness in all areas of our life.

There are times that we feel that we haven’t made the best choice or decision… we just need to take a breath, send a kind glance toward that thought, looking at life through a new lens – the lens of clarity and focus in on our inner Self – Intuition – the one who is here to give us the confidence we need to make any choice or decision, whether great or small.

Here is a recap of what I have learned, utilizing myself and in addition want to share with you so you can do the same:

I have the ability to make a snap decision, or a considered decision.
Confidence in decision-making comes with knowing what I really want, and serving it with my time and attention
The most important decision I will make is to decide where inside me I go to make decision that matter to me.
If I make a decision that matters to me, it is okay to get it wrong on the way to getting it right.
No one else can know what my Inner Voice is telling me. Not even a trusted advisor, or someone close to me.
Deep down, there is only one thought that really matters: “I would really LOVE to do this.”
The voice that helps me make decisions about an idea will guide me with either feelings of greater expansion or contraction.
Confidence in my ability to make decisions is something that can absolutely be grown and developed.

There are three things that were suggested that I do to help me become a Clear, Confident Decision Maker:

To consider some decisions I am making and notice the feeling I get while making them. Am I feeling expansion or contraction? What do I sense about those feelings?
When I am making a decision, I lean in to the voice of truth, the part of me that already knows the answer.
Each day, I pay attention when I am making decision and notice if there is a gravitational pull toward the familiar, or a feeling of contraction or one of expansion.

Moving into the final step of Authentic Self-Confidence, Confidence #5 I will be sharing about Freedom From the Opinions of Others. This was a huge one for me. We have built a belief in ourselves, that anytime we face criticism or discouragement from outside sources, we CAN STAND TALL, STRONG and CONFIDENT anyway. This secret formula is something that many powerful people have utilized to GROW their AUTHENTIC Self-Confidence, NOW we are unshackling and developing ours too!

Here’s to listening and hearing our inner voice!!

Holly

Confidence

Confidence #3

Posted on 06/26/202008/10/2021 by HOLLY STEVENS

Hold up your head! You were not made for failure. You were made for VICTORY! Go forward with a joyful confidence.
George Eliot

Are you feeling ready to befriend the fears that are holding you back? Are you ready to allow those fears to be stepping stones in your journey of passion and purpose in your life now?

We have all had failures in our journey this far in life, and if you haven’t well… I’m afraid life is passing you by. Those failures we’ve had, do not make any of us failures! So on the contrary – we can actually utilize our failures, and all the obstacles that have been in our way have been there to BUILD our Self-Confidence. We need to identify the gift of growth each failure has blessed us with.

There is a POWER within each of us that is GREATER than ANYTHING we have gone through, or will ever go through. As we’ve discovered, we have ALL experienced failure, that my friend, is what allows us to be HUMAN. We don’t get it ‘right’ every time, that is impossible, when we do fail, we can see and use the OPPORTUNITY to gain wisdom, understanding, growth and strength.

From the moment we were born into this life, we have faced and overcame obstacles! As I have mentioned in Confidence #2 post, we had to rely on the infinite to get us around one of our very first obstacles, communication of getting our basic needs met. Being fed, diaper changed, letting our caregiver know that we are uncomfortable. We learned to fall asleep on our own, learning to sit up, crawl, walk, talk, to tying our shoes. We’ve all put our shirt on backwards, or inside out while learning to dress ourselves. We’ve all put our shoes on the wrong feet. To a young adult learning to read a map, taking the wrong turn, or even running out of gas when we were learning to become a responsible {Response-Able} adult. Generally there was never a second thought that these were failures or that we were a failure because of them. It’s OKAY that we made mistakes along the way.

Nobody ever likes to “get it wrong.” Messing up is not fun, it can cause headaches, heartaches, and stress. There may have been a mistake so painful that we have choose to try to not ever think about it again, yet it replays again and again in our minds. Sometimes even unconsciously. Over time, (sometimes days, sometimes years) our self-confidence dissipates, and we give up because we feel as though we will never “get it right,” thinking what’s the use? There is indeed a useful part of failure – every perceived failure has a seed of success planted within it. We MUST be willing to look for it. We have to understand and trust that it is okay to get it wrong along the path to getting it right.

Whether we have had a bunch of little failures that keep adding up, or we feel like we have failed significantly… we have had failures, however, we are NOT a failure. “Failure” is just simply a meaning that we have placed on a situation that we have had. When we put it into reality, we have the POWER within us to re-frame any experience to serve us and grant us self-confidence, opposed to tearing us down. Every time something doesn’t work out or go the way we had visioned, leads us to trying it again, another way, until it does work — that my friend is simply the BLESSING and GIFT OF GROWTH! This is another part of gaining wisdom.

The expansive feeling of growing and expanding through failure, understanding and knowing that we do NOT ALWAYS have to “get it right” or be perfect. If we choose to reflect on a particular circumstance that did not turn out the way we had hoped or wanted it to, we can recognize that we are MORE than that event or circumstance. We have gained wisdom…

OK, now, take a deep breath and hear what I am about to say… you may feel discouraged and even worried that thinking about failures will only cause more feelings of failure. We DON’T stay there, we DON’T focus on the failure, we acknowledge it and we set it aside. Remember, this is about BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE and learning how the Power within us is greater than ANYTHING we have gone through or will ever go through.

Be GRATEFUL for this (failure) experience to learn, for it is the seed that was planted. Now, just be still, see, and even listen all while being open to the growth of your Self-Confidence.

Here is a recap of what I have learned, utilizing myself and in addition want to share with you:

I have had failure, that does NOT make me a failure, failure does NOT have me. I AM more than ANY failure I have ever had!
EVERY failure has within it, a seed of greater benefit.
I can set down any ideas I’ve had about failure, and be GRATEFUL for yet another learning, growing, strengthening day in my life.
Failure is simply another opportunity for me to learn.
Learning is done through trial and error, I started learning that way from day one of my life, it is still the same today – getting it right and getting it wrong, figuring it out as I go.
The learning through success is EQUAL to learning from failure. BOTH inform us. BOTH guide us. BOTH make us MORE of who we are capable of being!
NO ONE is exempt from failure. Everyone of us has experienced it in one form or another. It is simply part of being HUMAN!
As children, it was taken for granted that we could and should make mistakes, as adult bodies, we have adopted the thinking that we should get it right all the time.
Some of the most accomplished individuals, had some of the most massive failures, however, they DID NOT GIVE UP!

Here are three things that have been suggested I do on a continual basis, reminding me that obstacles are opportunities:

Writing out in my journal at least 10 successes that I have had in life, beginning as early as learning to walk, and tie my shoes.
Keep this affirmation in front of me: “it is OKAY to get it wrong on the way to getting it right.
When ever something does not go as I had planned, I CAN neutralize it by realizing that it is simply SOMETHING that happened.

The next step I will share with you in Confidence #4 post is Clear, Confident Decision Maker. Now that we have connected with the part of us that puts fear and failure in to it’s proper perspective, we are moving into Clear, Confident Decision Making. Here we will have a simple yet powerful strategy for helping to make decisions that are in service to the highest good. We have used this skill many of times, not even realizing it, the good news is, we will now know what it really is, developing it and strengthening it. Just a little secret I want to share with you… it only takes a bit of practice!

Here’s to GROWING and STRENGTHENING our AUTHENTIC Self-Confidence, with wisdom, power, passion, and purpose!!

Holly

Confidence

Confidence #2

Posted on 06/25/202008/10/2021 by HOLLY STEVENS

Each time we face our fear, we gain strength, courage and confidence in the doing.
Theodore Roosevelt

Now that we are clear about what True Authentic Self-Confidence is, and what it is not, and where it comes from… We have came to the understanding that we all, at times, feel a lack of Confidence when we try something new. Fear can cause us to stop moving forward, however, we can have fear WITHOUT fear having us! Confidence is not the absence of fear – it is continuing to grow and move forward despite the fear. We can grow and strengthen our confidence muscles by doing things that scare us. And we can also learn to step into fear, and actually befriend it.

When we come to the understanding of what fear really is, and what confidence really is, we acquire a new strength that overcomes doubts and worries. These are the doubts and worries that have kept us stuck in our current circumstances. Knowing confidence is NOT the absences of fear. Self-Confidence is growing and moving PAST FEAR, and towards our calling from the Infinite.

When we take a moment looking back over our lives, we can all recall a time or two that we had and felt a big sense of accomplishment, all because we took that risk, and we SUCCEEDED! Taking action is sometimes the greatest satisfaction, especially when we are doing it afraid. Fear is a real part of life. No one doesn’t face fear in their life. We must understand, fear is not just a phobia of spiders, snakes, bugs, etc. Fear can show itself in fear of heights, confined spaces, being in front of people, or even driving on an unknown road. The fear we experience most of the time is much more subtle, and steals our confidence, sometimes we aren’t even fully aware of it, keeping us stuck. It causes us to question ourselves, thoughts of “what if I’m not good enough?”, “What if I don’t like what I learn about myself?”, “what if others don’t agree?”, “Is this really even possible?”. We MUST REMEMBER we are NOT ALONE feeling this way.

As we pursue our passion and purpose in our life, longing to live a life we love living, we will encounter new territory – new people, new places, different ‘things’ we have never experienced before. This can make us feel afraid to take the next step. The TRUTH is, we ALL feel a lack of confidence when trying something new. Fear creates a physical and emotional response, these responses can cause us to stop moving forward, and unfortunately, UP UNTIL NOW, we have let them. Now that we have a better understanding of Self-Confidence, that it is our connection to the Infinite, and that is where we KNOW we have CONFIDENCE already WITHIN US, we can befriend fear, move beyond it and continue moving forward with passion and purpose. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN US HAVING FEAR, AND FEAR HAVING US!

This my friends is how we GROW CONFIDENCE muscles! We do the things that scare us. Continually pushing through challenges. By doing so, leading us to a higher version of our SELF. When we step into our greatness, we will undoubtedly have fear, however, we CAN make friends with that fear, creating another stepping stone in our path, or brick in our foundation. The One breathing us will ALWAYS help us find the confidence and courage when WE SEEK IT.

Here is a recap of what I have learned, utilizing myself and in addition want to share with you so you can do the same:

I grow MY CONFIDENCE by feeding MY FAITH and starving my fear.
The voice of fear is ALWAYS the voice of contraction, living a smaller version of myself.
Knowing and believing that Confidence is my birthright.
To pursue my purpose and passion, is not only reaching for the goal, it is achieving strength in my confidence.
I can feel the fear and do it anyway!
Fear is in the future. Doubt is from the past. Worry is the misuse of my imagination. CONFIDENCE IS IN ME ALWAYS!
Fear is actually the border of the reality that I know.
With my growing, expanding confidence, I have learned the difference between having fear and fear having me.
I must be aware that fear speaks through distraction, dissuasion and distress.
Fear is my companion as I grow, and I CAN make friends with that voice of fear!

There are a couple of things that were suggested that I do when I feel that fear is “moving in”

Write down my fear thoughts, and ask myself “Is that actually happening RIGHT NOW?”
Engage with gratitude! Which choices can I be grateful for in THIS MOMENT?

The next step I will share with you in Confidence #3 post is Turning Obstacles into Opportunities. Now that we have identified, and know the true source of our Authentic Self-Confidence and that fear has absolutely no hold on us. Ask yourself this question: WHAT IF there is a way of taking our EXPERIENCE of “failure”, use it for growth and expansion of confidence, to pursue our purpose and passion? Failure is nothing to be ashamed of, failure is nothing less than a stepping stone, (were you a failure every time you fell down when you were learning to walk? ABSOLUTELY NOT!!!) We can be inspired by some of the most famous failure-to-success stories out there…

Here’s to learning to FEED OUR FAITH, and starve our fear!!

Holly

Confidence

Confidence #1

Posted on 06/24/202008/10/2021 by HOLLY STEVENS

If one advances Confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he’ll meet with a success unexpected in common hours.
~Henry David Thoreau

Connecting with your TRUE SELF, this is your internal power connecting with the Infinite. The Infinite gives us Confidence, because it IS Confidence. When open to this connection with the Infinite, we are able to expand our personal awareness and experience our TRUE SELF, living a life of TRUE LOVE.

Knowing that Authentic Self-Confidence is our birthright, because we are alive and breathing, creates a deserving of Confidence. We deserve to be empowered to speak and act on our TRUE SELF. Having trust in ourselves. Doubts may came up, we recognize them and let them go. We can take a deep breath and remain in our calm, and open state of mind. When we trust the Infinite, we trust ourselves.

Something to remember: We do NOT generate our Self-Confidence, we draw from our Authentic Self-Confidence.

Thinking back to your childhood, what did you want to be when you grew up? Do you recall what it was? How about after graduating from high school – was there a passion for career plans? Did you ever pursue that dream? Or as for many of us grown-ups, did your confidence in those ideas just fade away as did the time? As the time goes by, it seems our ability to dream and have belief in ourselves can just dwindle away. It is natural in the human realm of life for outside forces to stop us from doing what we would love to do, or to be doing. UNLESS we choose to awaken our TRUE SELF, discovering that we have the confidence inside ourselves that is unshakable, because it is in our very DNA. So, you may ask, if confidence is IN us, how do we access it?

Let’s start here, with another common questions: What exactly is self-confidence and self-image?

For many of us, self-confidence and our self-image is formed by outside influences – such as our parents, our school teachers, even people in popular culture have trained us to “think” we have to live our lives a particular way, behave or act in a certain way, or even try to look a certain way. Maybe unskilled (possibly doing the best they knew at the time) made insensitive comments when we went out on our own or tried something different, harmed our confidence, allowing us to settle, and go on feeling unworthy to live the life we were dreaming of and meant to live. We need to know in our minds and our hearts that deep down there is MORE IN US! something GREATER, something that IS full of the confidence we’ve been freely given and we deserve. Deep down, OUR SPIRIT is calling us, desiring us to realize that WE ARE CAPABLE of MORE, simply because WE ARE MORE!

Whatever you choose to call it – Spirit, Source, Being, or simply Self. Whatever its name, the internal power is in connection with the Infinite, the Infinite breaths us, and beats our hearts the Infinite provides our unending supply of confidence, because it IS CONFIDENCE. We just have to be open to connecting with the Infinite in a way that will expand our awareness, that we may experience the life we desire.

We are DESERVING of Authentic Self-Confidence, it is our BIRTHRIGHT! simply by virtue of being born and alive. When we draw from this self-confidence we feel safe to speak and act on OUR truth, no one is entitled to override this, not even ourselves. This is a deep sense of trust in our SELF, then by extension, the world. Restoring the trust in ourselves allows us to be still within our self, listen from within our self, and give our self permission to be quiet and be connected with the Infinite to know and share our TRUE SELF.

Something to remember: We are ALL brought into this world in the same way, we are each a blessing born! We had only the Infinite to trust to “interpret” our communication to our caregiver getting our basic needs met… when we were hungry, “I am hungry” cry. When we were wet, “My diaper needs changed” cry, something is uncomfortable, “I’m not feeling good” cry. We trusted, as we knew no other way, it was our only option. As we’ve grown, we received grace from our caregivers as we learned to crawl then walk and talk with many ups and downs. Then as we got older, that trust was channeled to our earthly ways, our earthly understandings, we became molded to our earthly mind generating our confidence, not drawing from our confidence we have already been given.

Here is a recap of what I have learned, utilizing myself and in addition want to share with you:

Confidence is NOT based in our behavior, past, talents or IQ!

Confidence IS based in knowing and trusting there IS a power within US that gives us life!

We are human, and we are NOT able to feel 100% confident 100% of the time!

Everyone of us feels less confident at times than we want to.

So this is when we need to “borrow” confidence and strength from another. I have been so blessed and fortunate to have people in my life that I’ve been able to do just that “borrow” their confidence in ME providing the strength to re-connected to my Infinite. I LOVE to pay-it-forward, giving to others what has been given to me!

Our Spiritual DNA is PERFECT, and inside of that spiritual DNA is PERFECT CONFIDENCE!

We have to CHOOSE to re-access the confidence we were born with. Confidence has already been GIVEN to us, as our BIRTHRIGHT. In the unconscious detour in life, We were NOT meant to “generate” confidence making an ego that gets in our way creating a dead end on our detour.

Our longing for a greater confidence is actually the echo of the very Power breathing us, and beating our hearts.

Confidence comes from a source INSIDE us that is GREATER than any opinion and much STRONGER than any circumstance or situation.

Knowing and trusting your AUTHENTIC self that YOU are doing YOUR BEST in ANY moment, circumstance, or situation. (I know and trust that I can consciously “check in” with myself accepting that I am NOT perfect, but the perfect moment is present to be, and do MY BEST!)

No one else is you. No one else cares exactly the way you care. No one else is wired exactly the way you are wired. YOU ARE UNIQUE!

Unshackling an unshakable confidence helps us to overcome difficulties and master fears!

Our body is a GIFT, regardless of the opinions we or others have had about it’s size, it’s shape, it’s color, or it’s beingness.

Opinion is NOT truth!

Most of the time everyone has an opinion, that is just what it is, an opinion. The ONLY opinion we need to be concerned with is OUR opinion that comes FROM WITHIN our CORE AUTHENTIC TRUE SELF!

There are three things that have been asked of me to do on a continual basis, reminding me of MY AUTHENTIC TRUE SELF, that NO ONE else can do FOR ME:

Make a list of my successes and recall the feelings I FELT with each of the achievements.
Look myself in the mirror, reminding myself WHO I AM, and the POWER that is IN ME, that I have been blessed with as MY BIRTHRIGHT.
To use the words “up until now” when remembering or recalling ANY negative comments, opinions, situations, circumstances that I or others have related to ME.

The next step I will share with you in Confidence #2 post is Feeling the Fear and Doing it Anyway. Realizing when we feel afraid of something, we are NOT alone. The Power inside of us is willing to empower, participate, and encourage us EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! as we face that fear and befriend it, we MUST remember that it was ONLY UP UNTIL NOW that it may attempt to hold us back. Exposing the symptoms of fear, makes it loose its effectiveness. I have learned one very significant step that I have taken to redirect my fear into my personal power. I am so blessed to share with you my journey to Authentic Self-Confidence.

To Your Authentic Core Self, having Authentic Self-Confidence,

Holly

Confidence

Authentic Self-Confidence

Posted on 06/23/202008/10/2021 by HOLLY STEVENS

Where does your feeling of confidence come from? The ring on your finger? the vehicle you drive? your job title? your education? your parents/children status/success? the physical possessions you have? where you live? your community status quo?

Does your confidence come from within YOU? Knowing your physical being is in regular close connection with your spiritual being. Understanding your purpose in life. Knowing who you are in confidence, enabling you to overcome fears, learn from failures and make important decisions along the way to creating a life you love living. You understand your DNA of Authentic Self-Confidence, and know the truth of who you are, feeling comfortable and at ease in all areas of your life, no matter what.

In society today, it appears as though there is a misconception of true authentic self-confidence and living from an external ego. Keeping up with the latest and greatest technology for our kids and ourselves to be {the new} social. I’m not referring to the need for technology for academics and work. Having the latest and greatest social apps so that we can communicate 24 hours a day, 7 days a week. Without eye contact, body language, and not knowing how to act when “in true person”. Posting pictures that are ‘photo shopped’ and hoping to not ever have to show our real, true self because we could never match up to the techno version we’ve created and put out there… However, that “gap” WILL catch us, and we won’t/can’t ever match up to the electronic version, whether we are aware of it, consciously or unconsciously it is riding on and in us. In turn causing us to live in an ego and defensive based world for ourselves, running from ourselves or maybe even trying to catch ourselves. This creates a double battle within ourselves 24 hours a day 7 days a week…

As my Mentors and Life Coaches have shared with me… I would like to share with you:

Some days we feel like we are on top of and can conquer the world! Other days, we don’t even want to get out of bed. We’ve all felt that way before. What is the difference between those kind of days? Quite often, it is the degree of self-confidence we are feeling at that time. There are many variables that can affect the way we feel about ourselves and our ability to do the things we want to do. It can be as simple as a ‘bad hair day’ or as tough as ‘feeling the pressure’ of living up to others expectations and/or the expectations we’ve put out there ourselves. There is a way to keep those outside influences from impacting our self-image and self confidence. We can have more days we feel powerful and unstoppable from within ourselves. We CAN live with AUTHENTIC SELF-CONFIDENCE empowering ourselves to love life, and love living life.

As I have been taught not only by my teachers, mentors, coaches, but through the hard knocks of life… the TRUTH is; we are spiritual beings having a human experience. It is part of life, that someone will say something insensitive to us that hurts our feelings or embarrasses us. The natural human response is to feel slighted or possibly deeply hurt. It can sometimes snowball as those unkind words play on repeat in our own mind, developing other not so pleasant thinking about ourselves, tearing on our self-esteem. Our self-image can also be affected by the perceptions we have that came from experiences in our childhood, both positive and negative. The key is: not to allow criticism or shame to become a part of our belief about ourselves. The way to do that is to know who we are at our core, living from our core as often as possible, letting it become our pervasive thought process. It is connecting with our inner being, the Infinite side of us, always knowing we are truly more than any situation, circumstance or condition that we encounter. Living the absolute best we can, in any given moment, no matter what is coming AT us. Remembering, a boat can’t sink, unless the water gets inside.

Allowing our physical being to be in close connection with our spiritual being, we then better understand our purpose in life. Authentically knowing who we are, builds confidence, empowering us to overcome fears, learn from failures and make important decisions all while allowing us to love life, and love the life we are living. When we understand the DNA of Authentic Self-Confidence, knowing the truth of who we are, we can feel comfortable, and authentically self-confident in all areas of our life, no matter what is coming at us.

When we commit to taking time to connect with the Power breathing us each and everyday, we will see and feel more than enough authentic confidence to look fear in the face and do nothing less than become friends with it. We must always know that fear doesn’t mean we can’t, it only means we haven’t. Confidence comes only after we choose to do what we were once afraid to do.

Self-Confidence grows from the seeds planted and harvested of overcoming challenges and failures, turning obstacles into opportunities. We must accept and be empowered by defeat, without being defeated. Failure is nothing more than feedback, it is actually showing us there is another way to do things.

As we make a daily decision to take action, building our Authentic Self-Confidence, we will realize Confidence is a choice. We have supreme authority over our OWN DECISIONS. We have dominion over our OWN THOUGHTS. Our THOUGHTS affect our FEELINGS, and in turn our ACTIONS, creating our RESULTS. We are responsible and ‘RESPONSE – ABLE’ for every single thought we think, and move we make. We can be the CLEAR, CONFIDENT decision maker, WHEN we realize that Authentic Self-Confidence is the trait that turns thoughts into action leading to the results we want! Confidently knowing there are no ‘short-cuts’, doing confidently what we must do for ourselves, no matter what anyone else thinks, To be the best we can be, creating the authentic life we want.

You absolutely can grow Authentic Self-Confidence! All that is required is that you pay attention to YOUR ‘Inner Voice’. It all begins on the inside – inside of YOU!

How do you do that? you may ask, just as I was given the opportunity to do, first creating an understanding of what Authentic Self-Confidence is and is not. I will be sharing what I have learned in the next five post about:

What I have learned regarding the truth about the source of where self confidence comes from. Discovering what Confidence is, and is not. How to respond when Self-confidence takes a “hit”, allowing it to propel me towards a loving life, rather than to derail.
Stepping out of the comfort zone, doing it with confidence. Allowing authentic Confidence to overcome the fears that used to get in the way.
Changing perspective on failures in the past, present, and future. No one gets through this life without {experiencing} failure, and it is how I choose to respond to the circumstances that makes the difference in life.
I have been taught what the key is to making any important decision. I have made the most important decision I have ever made, with learning a new understanding to help me make any choice in the future with clarity and confidence.
This has brought me back full circle to the core of my Self-Confidence, and knowing that my Authentic Self is NOT made by the opinions of others, rather from the inside out of ME. I have been given a secret formula I’ve implemented into my life that some of the world’s most famous people have used to create immense success in their lives and businesses.

I look forward to continuing my journey into greater Authentic Self-confidence and sharing these skills and outcomes with you. I have been blessed with many failures in my life that have created stepping stones for me, however, at the time I could not imagine those failures as blessings. I have been blessed with amazing mentors, coaches, therapist, pastors, friends, confidantes, and many others too, who have helped me recognize the stepping stones, lay them in the correct path, to building the foundation to MY Authentic Core Self, creating Authentic Self-Confidence. It is only through what I have been given, that I am able to give, and I have a great desire to give to others what I have been blessed with…

To Your Authentic Core Self, having Authentic Self-Confidence

Holly

Uncategorized

Gift of Life…

Posted on 06/22/2020 by HOLLY STEVENS

As I sit here on this beautiful Monday morning, after working in the garden, and watering flowers… even the ones I just planted on Friday are already “popping” up… I am thankful the predicted weekend storms that were to come through with wind, rain, and hail, we were spared from in our area. I sit in absolute aw and amazement, listening to the birds and the light breeze blow and this story came to me that I would love to share with you!

A group of scientists who having discovered the secrets of cloning decided they would have a conference with God to tell God He was no longer needed. Yes, God had created humanity and all of life, in fact, from the very dust of the earth. But now science had taken over the job and God could retire.

So the top scientists in the world gathered together and they called God to a conference having told God, He/She was no longer required.

God said, “Explain this to me.”

They said, “We now know how to make life out of dust ourselves.”

God replied, “Well then, Okay, you go ahead and show me how you can do that.”

So the scientist reached down for some dirt and God said, “Uh, uh, uh, get your own dirt.”

I love this story because it reminds us that we get confused at times and think (and believe) things belong to us, even our life itself. We begin to forget at times how precious the gift is of our daily life.

In everything we call ours, even our children, our spouses, our friends; they’re GIFTS on loan from the universe.

How precious it is to have these GIFTS in our lives this day; to have eyes to see and ears to hear. This day is a GIFT and it ALL belongs to the one who sources all of this.

So, this day, let’s walk around in appreciation that we get to walk in the ABUNDANCE of the GIFT of this LIFE.

To Your Gift of LIFE, Abundant Blessings you are and have,

Holly

P.S. Would you like support unshackling your passion, and building your dreams? If you would like a complimentary no obligation strategy session shoot me an email at: asplendidlifenow@gmail.com

Uncategorized

Moving From Impossible to Possible

Posted on 06/15/2020 by HOLLY STEVENS

I came across this powerful true story and wanted to share it with you…

George Danzig was a grad student in mathematics department, said to the grad students that whoever got the best grade on the final had the opportunity to be hired as his research assistant for the next year.

That job was a plum job. Everybody wanted the job. George said that he studied so hard for that test that he was up until the middle of the night and overslept and was actually late to the test.

But he got there in time to take the test, was handed the test and went to the back of the room. As he was answering the eight math questions, he got through the eight math questions fairly easily. When he looked on the blackboard and there were two problems on the board. He copied them down and he began to work on those two problems and he couldn’t solve them.

He began to think that somebody in this room is going to solve these problems. What’s wrong with me? He kept working and working and working on the problems. He couldn’t get them solved and by the end of the time that was allowed some of the students asked for additional time to work.

The professor said they could take the test home and bring it back by Friday. So George too asked for more time. He said just bring the test back by Friday.

He went home and sat up night after night. This was Monday. All day Tuesday. Tuesday night. Wednesday and Wednesday night.

He just kept thinking somebody is going to get these solved. Why not me? Why not me? Finally by Thursday morning he had one of them solved. Then he kept working, working, working late into Thursday night and on Friday morning he solved the second one.

He took the test back and got it turned in by eleven am, which was the deadline. He went home wondering what would happen. Sunday morning at seven am there was a knock, knock, knock at his door.

He jumps out of bed. It’s his professor. His professor says ‘George, you’ve make mathematical history! I was thinking on the way over here, you were late to the test right?’

George said ‘Well yeah, did I do something wrong?’

‘No’, the professor said, ‘it’s just that the eight questions were the test. I told everybody who was gathered, I’ve had such a great time teaching all of you. If you want to have fun the rest of your life, these two questions are the two unsolved math questions that even Einstein himself went to his grave unable to solve. How did you do this George?’

George recounted that if he had heard ahead of time that no one has been able to solve those problems, his way of defining his relationship to that problem would have been so different that he would not have made himself available to the access to the solution that was within him.

That same access is within everyone of us!

Now, I don’t know what it is that you are facing. However, I know this is about YOU. That YOU are in the art of becoming, for you are a son, a daughter of the Infinite; of the Most High… to be EVERYTHING YOU want to be, EVERYTHING YOU are created to be, to give EVERYTHING YOU want to give… even to build YOUR DREAM LIFE!

Know there is ALWAYS a solution available for ANY problem you may be facing.

Your job is to stay open to that possibility…

Believing In You!

Holly

P.S. Would you like support unshackling your passion, and building your dreams? If you would like a complimentary no obligation strategy session shoot me an email at: asplendidlifenow@gmail.com