Tag: self love

Posted in Confidence

Confidence #5

Posted on by HOLLY STEVENS

Once we believe in ourselves, we can risk curiosity, wonder, spontaneous delight, or any experience that reveals the human spirit.

ee cummings

Have you been able to connect with and hear your inner voice? Have you taken time to get quiet and discover your choices or decisions that are in harmony with your highest good?

It is absolutely amazing that we have been blessed with such an amazing guidance system – in truth, it is SO much better than any other personal GPS!

It is so easy to get caught up in our daily routines and habits that we ignore the messages that our Intuition is providing us. Again, if we choose to get quiet, listening to these messages, this allows decisions to come to us faster, feeling movement forward as never before. Knowing that we can choose to get quiet, and listen to ourselves in the most external chaotic of situations. We can choose to take a breath and to quiet our internal chaos, while we listen for/to our inner voice. Sometimes we may have to physically get away to be in the quiet to get quiet, other times we may just need to take a deep breath and consciously quiet our mind while we listen.

Having freedom from the opinions of others is especially important: one of the greatest GIFTS we have been GIVEN when we were born into this life is the capacity to CONSCIOUSLY reflect within our OWN Self. Each and everyone of us can think our own thoughts, considering those thoughts BEFORE actually acting on them. We CAN UNLOCK the FREEDOM to follow OUR DESIRES and to receive the warnings when something may not be in harmony with OUR BEING.

We DO NOT need to look for, or have the approval from others. Authentic Self-Confidence can ONLY come from WITHIN US. The opinion of others is not truth – the TRUTH is WITHIN US. Developing Rock- solid Self-Confidence will support us through any challenges we face in our journey of life.

As we get in touch with our CORE being, the source of our Confidence. Discovering, and allowing our inner voice to speak, while we truly listen, THIS is what makes us feel ALIVE.

Learning the secret of where to find our Authentic Self-Confidence when we need it most, making a strong, deep, loving connection with our inner voice so we can call upon it at anytime we need to be liberated from the opinions of others is where we are now. When we are “FREE to be ME”, to be our OWN SELF, we can be confident, comfortable and feel at ease, no matter the situation.

Discovering the formula that the world’s most successful people have chosen in developing their confidence in the most heart-felt ways for decades is life changing. I will share these steps shortly, and we can walk through, one by one, applying them to each part of our lives. Putting them in to practice on a regular basis, our passion for life will amplify, and sharing this confidence from within ourselves with others around us.

One of the greatest blessings we are each given in this life is the capacity and ability to consciously reflect within our own Self. We are gifted the ability to first, think our own thoughts, then considering those thoughts BEFORE we act on them. KNOWING this allows us the FREEDOM to follow our OWN DESIRES, with the understanding we can also be aware or alerted when something is not in harmony with OUR BEING. Being aware of both internal and external influences, and how they are affecting our Authentic Self-Confidence.

Since we can remember, we have been taught to look outside ourselves and to others for approval. Seeking a smile or nod from our parents. Seeking good grades from our teachers. Seeking the glances from our romantic partner. Listening for words of approval from our spouse or partner. Seeking the promotion from our bosses. These are all things (and many more) or moments that would seem to build our confidence in some way or another… they are only external, not Authentic Self-Confidence.

Authentic Self-Confidence comes from ONLY ONE PLACE: from WITHIN. Allowing the approval of others to build us up, allows their criticism to tear us down just as easily. The fact of the matter is: the opinion of others is not truth. TRUTH is INSIDE each and every one of us. Confidence is from the inside out, THIS is what we are developing the AWARENESS of: CONFIDENCE IS FROM THE INSIDE!

When the realization and acceptance of the fact: Confidence is an inside job, becoming deeply ingrained in our being, NOTHING anyone can say or do will have the ability to negatively impact us, or tear us down for any length of time. We are UNSHACKLING from WITHIN us, something we have ALWAYS had, an UNSHAKABLE AUTHENTIC TRUE SELF-CONFIDENCE. This unshakable Self-Confidence will see us through ANY of the challenges we are facing, or that come our way from here forward.

We may have had a very specific, damaging, life-changing moment, situation or circumstance in which someone said something, or something happened that cut us to the core, as a child or as an adult. KNOW THIS: that was something that happened. What was said was not truth or what happened has a positive seed planted within it! Each of us is deserving of HAPPINESS. By BIRTHRIGHT, we are entitled to a Authentic Self-Confidence, freeing us from the opinions of others!

Spend some time, one-on-one with your Self, really get in touch with your core being, the very source of YOUR Confidence. When practiced with dedication, and true attention, these five steps, followed and practiced diligently will unshackle and expand your Self-Confidence to a new awareness.

Napoleon Hill, who studied many successful people, famously known for his research and findings, formulated these steps in which are proven to building Self-Confidence.

Napoleon Hill's Formula for Building Self-Confidence:
   Step ONE:    Believe that there is a power in you great enough that you can achieve what matters to you.
   Step TWO:    Concentrate your thoughts on creating a clear mental picture of you being the person who is living the life you desire.
   Step THREE:  Trust that the desire you hold in mind, if kept in mind, must, by invisible law reproduce itself in the world of form.
   Step FOUR:   Promise yourself to keep at it until you have developed a sufficient Self-Confidence to reach your goal.
   Step FIVE:   Commit to not only being the person who's living this life, but doing that with truth and justice in all that you do, so that all that's required to bring about this goal becomes yours.

When we are faced with overcoming failure, facing fear or there is a decision weighing heavy on us. When we feel stuck in the pursuit of our purpose, passion or life dream, you can go back to these five steps (print them off, keep them with you) for a reminder of how to access YOUR Authentic Self-Confidence. Be open to YOUR INNER VOICE, allowing it to do the talking while you do the listening, seeing the opinions of others diminish as you engage in YOUR TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF-CONFIDENCE.

Here is a recap of what I have personally learned and utilize myself and would like to share with you:

  • The ‘self’ with a little (lowercase) “s” is our personality and all the things we have achieved or not achieved. Some identify this as our ego.
  • The ‘Self’ with a big (uppercase capital) “S” is the power and intelligence that is present in us at ALL times.
  • Trusting my Self is the ultimate in Confidence.
  • Confidence is not built from the outside in. It is built from THE INSIDE OUT!
  • Self speaks to us in the degree of OUR WILLINGNESS TO LISTEN, always in the here and now.
  • Utilizing Napoleon Hill’s proven Five step formula for Building Self-Confidence. Believing, Concentrating, Trusting, Promising Self and being Committed to the Self that is created in/of/for ME.
  • There is an art and a science to reaching our passion, purpose and dream. The art is the visioning. The science is the vibration.

The suggested actions that I do take action on each and every day are:

  1. Following and practicing Napoleon Hill’s Formula for Building Self-Confidence
  2. Remembering daily to place my Confidence and trust in the Power breathing me. NOT in my personality, history or talents.
  3. Writing out a clear and detailed description of the image I desire, writing it in the present tense as if it IS real RIGHT NOW!

This is #5 of #5 in this series of Authentic Self-Confidence. Please join me for a review of all that I have shared with you about Unshackling an Unshakable True Authentic Self-Confidence, at https://www.facebook.com/unshackledhappiness/. Empowering you to turn the key and break free of your shackles with belief in your Self and your abilities to live your life with passion on purpose, starting TODAY! That is my TRUE, GIVEN passion with my purpose to empower others to be the best that they can be in any given moment, situation or under any circumstances they are facing.

GO! DO! BE! with TRUE AUTHENTIC SELF-CONFIDENCE, all that YOU have been CREATE to DO and BE with PURPOSE and PASSION from WITHIN YOU!!

Cheering you on every step of the way,

Holly

Confidence #4
Posted in Confidence

Confidence #4

Posted on by HOLLY STEVENS

Once you make a decision, the Universe conspires to make it happen

Ralph Waldo Emerson

Discovering that you are MORE than any failure you have ever had, feeling renewed with knowing that you have a power to overcome any obstacle that comes or is put in your way. Having that amazing feeling knowing you are GREATER than ANYTHING you could ever possibly encounter. Think about it, you wouldn’t be here if you weren’t given, or didn’t have access to the ability to be an “over-comer.”

We have the ability to connect with an inner source to allow us to be a clear, confident decision maker. We have the access to our own GPS, the guidance system that we can turn to and listen to at any given time to help us with the choices guiding us to our purpose with passion.

When we explore our Intuition, letting our inner voice be our guide, automatically we will feel, when a choice we make, is in harmony with our highest good. Learning to pay attention to OUR inner voice, will give us the confidence to make ANY decision that comes about in our life.

We are all given a purpose in this life. This is a purpose that serves our highest good. We are given the true Authentic Self-Confidence to pursue discovering that purpose. When we discover this purpose, we develop a passion and love that fills us from within, no one or anything can give us this from the outside. Unlocking confidence in our decision making is yet another stepping stone in our path to our purpose, passion, and dreams.

Being really clear on what we would love our life to be, making confident decisions from that very place. We must realize, there are many different types of decisions we make in any given day, how those decisions can and will impact our self-confidence giving us a new level of understanding and trust in how making those choices can and will benefit our purpose, passion, and dreams.

We develop an understanding and trust, thus, guiding us to know when we are and we are not operating for our highest good. Discovering two secret keys to getting in touch with our inner voice helping us know with Authentic Self-Confidence, we are making the best possible decision, no matter the situation or circumstance we are facing in that moment.

So, what do we do when we would like a bowl of ice cream? We get up, go to the freezer, grab the container of vanilla, the ice cream scoop, (sometimes) a bowl and a spoon. We are ready to enjoy! We made a decision and took the steps needed to accomplish the goal. That was a simple one, unless of course there was another option of chocolate ice cream in the freezer too, then the decision may have been a bit more challenging. We make decisions every day of our life, some are easy, others more difficult.

We have all found ourselves in situations that we had no clue what to do, what direction to take, or what move to make because we just couldn’t make a decision as to what the best thing to do is/was. We all feel that way at times, when we have options and opportunities before us, and we just don’t know what the right choice would be. We get stuck in the “thinking” about decisions, which keeps us stuck, and not moving forward to our purpose, passion and life we love living. This is NOT the place we would like to stay for any length of time. Instead, we want to connect with the source within us that will help us become a clear, confident decision maker.

As part of the human experience, we all make decisions. Most of the decisions we make are done without thinking about them, they come out of habit, or by default. Some decisions require much more consideration and planning, we debate with ourselves back and forth on what the “right” thing to do is, even turning to others for advice. While in the midst of all of this, there is ONE (GPS) guidance system that we can each turn to at any point and time. When we really listen, it helps us make the choices and decisions that will propel us in the direction of being the person who CAN, DO, and BE whatever we choose.

The key is strengthening our personal relationship with the part of us that already knows ALL THE ANSWERS, our Intuition. When we allow our Inner Voice to guide us, we can sense when a choice or decision is in harmony with our highest good. We become more and more clear on and aware of what the cues are, when we pay attention to them, it will keep us on the path to freedom and happiness in all areas of our life.

There are times that we feel that we haven’t made the best choice or decision… we just need to take a breath, send a kind glance toward that thought, looking at life through a new lens – the lens of clarity and focus in on our inner Self – Intuition – the one who is here to give us the confidence we need to make any choice or decision, whether great or small.

Here is a recap of what I have learned, utilizing myself and in addition want to share with you so you can do the same:

  • I have the ability to make a snap decision, or a considered decision.
  • Confidence in decision-making comes with knowing what I really want, and serving it with my time and attention
  • The most important decision I will make is to decide where inside me I go to make decision that matter to me.
  • If I make a decision that matters to me, it is okay to get it wrong on the way to getting it right.
  • No one else can know what my Inner Voice is telling me. Not even a trusted advisor, or someone close to me.
  • Deep down, there is only one thought that really matters: “I would really LOVE to do this.”
  • The voice that helps me make decisions about an idea will guide me with either feelings of greater expansion or contraction.
  • Confidence in my ability to make decisions is something that can absolutely be grown and developed.

There are three things that were suggested that I do to help me become a Clear, Confident Decision Maker:

  1. To consider some decisions I am making and notice the feeling I get while making them. Am I feeling expansion or contraction? What do I sense about those feelings?
  2. When I am making a decision, I lean in to the voice of truth, the part of me that already knows the answer.
  3. Each day, I pay attention when I am making decision and notice if there is a gravitational pull toward the familiar, or a feeling of contraction or one of expansion.

Moving into the final step of Authentic Self-Confidence, Confidence #5 I will be sharing about Freedom From the Opinions of Others. This was a huge one for me. We have built a belief in ourselves, that anytime we face criticism or discouragement from outside sources, we CAN STAND TALL, STRONG and CONFIDENT anyway. This secret formula is something that many powerful people have utilized to GROW their AUTHENTIC Self-Confidence, NOW we are unshackling and developing ours too!

Here’s to listening and hearing our inner voice!!

Holly

Posted in Confidence

Confidence #1

Posted on by HOLLY STEVENS

If one advances Confidently in the direction of his dreams, and endeavors to live the life which he has imagined, he’ll meet with a success unexpected in common hours.

~Henry David Thoreau

Connecting with your TRUE SELF, this is your internal power connecting with the Infinite. The Infinite gives us Confidence, because it IS Confidence. When open to this connection with the Infinite, we are able to expand our personal awareness and experience our TRUE SELF, living a life of TRUE LOVE.

Knowing that Authentic Self-Confidence is our birthright, because we are alive and breathing, creates a deserving of Confidence. We deserve to be empowered to speak and act on our TRUE SELF. Having trust in ourselves. Doubts may came up, we recognize them and let them go. We can take a deep breath and remain in our calm, and open state of mind. When we trust the Infinite, we trust ourselves.

Something to remember: We do NOT generate our Self-Confidence, we draw from our Authentic Self-Confidence.

Thinking back to your childhood, what did you want to be when you grew up? Do you recall what it was? How about after graduating from high school – was there a passion for career plans? Did you ever pursue that dream? Or as for many of us grown-ups, did your confidence in those ideas just fade away as did the time? As the time goes by, it seems our ability to dream and have belief in ourselves can just dwindle away. It is natural in the human realm of life for outside forces to stop us from doing what we would love to do, or to be doing. UNLESS we choose to awaken our TRUE SELF, discovering that we have the confidence inside ourselves that is unshakable, because it is in our very DNA. So, you may ask, if confidence is IN us, how do we access it?

Let’s start here, with another common questions: What exactly is self-confidence and self-image?

For many of us, self-confidence and our self-image is formed by outside influences – such as our parents, our school teachers, even people in popular culture have trained us to “think” we have to live our lives a particular way, behave or act in a certain way, or even try to look a certain way. Maybe unskilled (possibly doing the best they knew at the time) made insensitive comments when we went out on our own or tried something different, harmed our confidence, allowing us to settle, and go on feeling unworthy to live the life we were dreaming of and meant to live. We need to know in our minds and our hearts that deep down there is MORE IN US! something GREATER, something that IS full of the confidence we’ve been freely given and we deserve. Deep down, OUR SPIRIT is calling us, desiring us to realize that WE ARE CAPABLE of MORE, simply because WE ARE MORE!

Whatever you choose to call it – Spirit, Source, Being, or simply Self. Whatever its name, the internal power is in connection with the Infinite, the Infinite breaths us, and beats our hearts the Infinite provides our unending supply of confidence, because it IS CONFIDENCE. We just have to be open to connecting with the Infinite in a way that will expand our awareness, that we may experience the life we desire.

We are DESERVING of Authentic Self-Confidence, it is our BIRTHRIGHT! simply by virtue of being born and alive. When we draw from this self-confidence we feel safe to speak and act on OUR truth, no one is entitled to override this, not even ourselves. This is a deep sense of trust in our SELF, then by extension, the world. Restoring the trust in ourselves allows us to be still within our self, listen from within our self, and give our self permission to be quiet and be connected with the Infinite to know and share our TRUE SELF.

Something to remember: We are ALL brought into this world in the same way, we are each a blessing born! We had only the Infinite to trust to “interpret” our communication to our caregiver getting our basic needs met… when we were hungry, “I am hungry” cry. When we were wet, “My diaper needs changed” cry, something is uncomfortable, “I’m not feeling good” cry. We trusted, as we knew no other way, it was our only option. As we’ve grown, we received grace from our caregivers as we learned to crawl then walk and talk with many ups and downs. Then as we got older, that trust was channeled to our earthly ways, our earthly understandings, we became molded to our earthly mind generating our confidence, not drawing from our confidence we have already been given.

Here is a recap of what I have learned, utilizing myself and in addition want to share with you:

Confidence is NOT based in our behavior, past, talents or IQ!

Confidence IS based in knowing and trusting there IS a power within US that gives us life!

We are human, and we are NOT able to feel 100% confident 100% of the time!

Everyone of us feels less confident at times than we want to.

So this is when we need to “borrow” confidence and strength from another. I have been so blessed and fortunate to have people in my life that I’ve been able to do just that “borrow” their confidence in ME providing the strength to re-connected to my Infinite. I LOVE to pay-it-forward, giving to others what has been given to me!

Our Spiritual DNA is PERFECT, and inside of that spiritual DNA is PERFECT CONFIDENCE!

We have to CHOOSE to re-access the confidence we were born with. Confidence has already been GIVEN to us, as our BIRTHRIGHT. In the unconscious detour in life, We were NOT meant to “generate” confidence making an ego that gets in our way creating a dead end on our detour.

Our longing for a greater confidence is actually the echo of the very Power breathing us, and beating our hearts.

Confidence comes from a source INSIDE us that is GREATER than any opinion and much STRONGER than any circumstance or situation.

Knowing and trusting your AUTHENTIC self that YOU are doing YOUR BEST in ANY moment, circumstance, or situation. (I know and trust that I can consciously “check in” with myself accepting that I am NOT perfect, but the perfect moment is present to be, and do MY BEST!)

No one else is you. No one else cares exactly the way you care. No one else is wired exactly the way you are wired. YOU ARE UNIQUE!

Unshackling an unshakable confidence helps us to overcome difficulties and master fears!

Our body is a GIFT, regardless of the opinions we or others have had about it’s size, it’s shape, it’s color, or it’s beingness.

Opinion is NOT truth!

Most of the time everyone has an opinion, that is just what it is, an opinion. The ONLY opinion we need to be concerned with is OUR opinion that comes FROM WITHIN our CORE AUTHENTIC TRUE SELF!

There are three things that have been asked of me to do on a continual basis, reminding me of MY AUTHENTIC TRUE SELF, that NO ONE else can do FOR ME:

  1. Make a list of my successes and recall the feelings I FELT with each of the achievements.
  2. Look myself in the mirror, reminding myself WHO I AM, and the POWER that is IN ME, that I have been blessed with as MY BIRTHRIGHT.
  3. To use the words “up until now” when remembering or recalling ANY negative comments, opinions, situations, circumstances that I or others have related to ME.

The next step I will share with you in Confidence #2 post is Feeling the Fear and Doing it Anyway. Realizing when we feel afraid of something, we are NOT alone. The Power inside of us is willing to empower, participate, and encourage us EVERY STEP OF THE WAY! as we face that fear and befriend it, we MUST remember that it was ONLY UP UNTIL NOW that it may attempt to hold us back. Exposing the symptoms of fear, makes it loose its effectiveness. I have learned one very significant step that I have taken to redirect my fear into my personal power. I am so blessed to share with you my journey to Authentic Self-Confidence.

To Your Authentic Core Self, having Authentic Self-Confidence,

Holly