Posted in Confidence

Confidence #3

Hold up your head! You were not made for failure. You were made for VICTORY! Go forward with a joyful confidence.

George Eliot

Are you feeling ready to befriend the fears that are holding you back? Are you ready to allow those fears to be stepping stones in your journey of passion and purpose in your life now?

We have all had failures in our journey this far in life, and if you haven’t well… I’m afraid life is passing you by. Those failures we’ve had, do not make any of us failures! So on the contrary – we can actually utilize our failures, and all the obstacles that have been in our way have been there to BUILD our Self-Confidence. We need to identify the gift of growth each failure has blessed us with.

There is a POWER within each of us that is GREATER than ANYTHING we have gone through, or will ever go through. As we’ve discovered, we have ALL experienced failure, that my friend, is what allows us to be HUMAN. We don’t get it ‘right’ every time, that is impossible, when we do fail, we can see and use the OPPORTUNITY to gain wisdom, understanding, growth and strength.

From the moment we were born into this life, we have faced and overcame obstacles! As I have mentioned in Confidence #2 post, we had to rely on the infinite to get us around one of our very first obstacles, communication of getting our basic needs met. Being fed, diaper changed, letting our caregiver know that we are uncomfortable. We learned to fall asleep on our own, learning to sit up, crawl, walk, talk, to tying our shoes. We’ve all put our shirt on backwards, or inside out while learning to dress ourselves. We’ve all put our shoes on the wrong feet. To a young adult learning to read a map, taking the wrong turn, or even running out of gas when we were learning to become a responsible {Response-Able} adult. Generally there was never a second thought that these were failures or that we were a failure because of them. It’s OKAY that we made mistakes along the way.

Nobody ever likes to “get it wrong.” Messing up is not fun, it can cause headaches, heartaches, and stress. There may have been a mistake so painful that we have choose to try to not ever think about it again, yet it replays again and again in our minds. Sometimes even unconsciously. Over time, (sometimes days, sometimes years) our self-confidence dissipates, and we give up because we feel as though we will never “get it right,” thinking what’s the use? There is indeed a useful part of failure – every perceived failure has a seed of success planted within it. We MUST be willing to look for it. We have to understand and trust that it is okay to get it wrong along the path to getting it right.

Whether we have had a bunch of little failures that keep adding up, or we feel like we have failed significantly… we have had failures, however, we are NOT a failure. “Failure” is just simply a meaning that we have placed on a situation that we have had. When we put it into reality, we have the POWER within us to re-frame any experience to serve us and grant us self-confidence, opposed to tearing us down. Every time something doesn’t work out or go the way we had visioned, leads us to trying it again, another way, until it does work — that my friend is simply the BLESSING and GIFT OF GROWTH! This is another part of gaining wisdom.

The expansive feeling of growing and expanding through failure, understanding and knowing that we do NOT ALWAYS have to “get it right” or be perfect. If we choose to reflect on a particular circumstance that did not turn out the way we had hoped or wanted it to, we can recognize that we are MORE than that event or circumstance. We have gained wisdom…

OK, now, take a deep breath and hear what I am about to say… you may feel discouraged and even worried that thinking about failures will only cause more feelings of failure. We DON’T stay there, we DON’T focus on the failure, we acknowledge it and we set it aside. Remember, this is about BUILDING SELF-CONFIDENCE and learning how the Power within us is greater than ANYTHING we have gone through or will ever go through.

Be GRATEFUL for this (failure) experience to learn, for it is the seed that was planted. Now, just be still, see, and even listen all while being open to the growth of your Self-Confidence.

Here is a recap of what I have learned, utilizing myself and in addition want to share with you:

  • I have had failure, that does NOT make me a failure, failure does NOT have me. I AM more than ANY failure I have ever had!
  • EVERY failure has within it, a seed of greater benefit.
  • I can set down any ideas I’ve had about failure, and be GRATEFUL for yet another learning, growing, strengthening day in my life.
  • Failure is simply another opportunity for me to learn.
  • Learning is done through trial and error, I started learning that way from day one of my life, it is still the same today – getting it right and getting it wrong, figuring it out as I go.
  • The learning through success is EQUAL to learning from failure. BOTH inform us. BOTH guide us. BOTH make us MORE of who we are capable of being!
  • NO ONE is exempt from failure. Everyone of us has experienced it in one form or another. It is simply part of being HUMAN!
  • As children, it was taken for granted that we could and should make mistakes, as adult bodies, we have adopted the thinking that we should get it right all the time.
  • Some of the most accomplished individuals, had some of the most massive failures, however, they DID NOT GIVE UP!

Here are three things that have been suggested I do on a continual basis, reminding me that obstacles are opportunities:

  1. Writing out in my journal at least 10 successes that I have had in life, beginning as early as learning to walk, and tie my shoes.
  2. Keep this affirmation in front of me: “it is OKAY to get it wrong on the way to getting it right.
  3. When ever something does not go as I had planned, I CAN neutralize it by realizing that it is simply SOMETHING that happened.

The next step I will share with you in Confidence #4 post is Clear, Confident Decision Maker. Now that we have connected with the part of us that puts fear and failure in to it’s proper perspective, we are moving into Clear, Confident Decision Making. Here we will have a simple yet powerful strategy for helping to make decisions that are in service to the highest good. We have used this skill many of times, not even realizing it, the good news is, we will now know what it really is, developing it and strengthening it. Just a little secret I want to share with you… it only takes a bit of practice!

Here’s to GROWING and STRENGTHENING our AUTHENTIC Self-Confidence, with wisdom, power, passion, and purpose!!

Holly

P.S. Would you like support unshackling your self-confidence, passion, and building your dreams? If so, send me an email at: asplendidlifenow@gmail.com

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